Run For Your Life

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm running a 5K. Mostly, just because I can. And what better one to do than THIS?

I've been wanting to do a fun run for a while now. I've mentioned it to a few people, but have never acted on it. I'm working on running and am getting much better at it. Lately I've been looking up runs and came across Color Me Rad last week. Then today a friend randomly mentioned that we should do it and I said "Okay, let's do it!" So we are.

And no, I don't think it's insensitive after what happened in Boston yesterday. In fact, I think it's the perfect timing. I will be running for every single person who was affected by that tragedy. I will run it for eight-year-old Martin Richard of Dorchester. I will run it for the children of Sandy Hook. I will run it for every person whose life has been prematurely snuffed out. We owe it to them to live our lives fully and to not cower in fear- you can't let the darkness win.

Just like I still went to see Batman in the theater after Aurora, like I had planned (you can read my thoughts from then here- they still apply). And just like I still took kids out in public after Newton. And how we still went to school after Columbine, and to church after Wedgwood. Life doesn't stand still when bad things happen. Should we remember? Of course. Should we try to make sure things like that don't happen again? Absolutely. Should we live in fear, or react in anger? Hell no.

A terrible tragedy happened yesterday in Boston. I feel that I've been saying that a lot lately... "A terrible tragedy happened in (blank)." We have been reminded so often lately how fragile life is and how with one breath, it can change forever. Things like this shake us to the core. They make us question humanity. They bring up hard issues.

Don't worry, I'm not going to get political right now. I don't think it's the time to do so, regardless of how I feel on many issues. I'm not going to focus on what is wrong, or bad, or ugly about this situation or the world we live in. This isn't the time to blame the economy, or education, or gun control, religion, or lack thereof. In this moment, that won't do a damn thing. Instead, I am going to take a page out of Mister Rogers' book.

Fred Rogers, of 'Mister Rogers' Neighborhood' fame once said, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'" - Fred Rogers

Rather than send hatred to those to who harm, I'm going to be a helper. When Carlos Arredondo lost his son to war, he started attending races to hand out American flags. Rather than become bitter from his experience, he used it to offer encouragement to others. Carlos was in Boston on Monday. He saved Jeff Bauman's life, when Jeff lost his legs in the blast and was bleeding out. When tragedy strikes, look for the helpers. When all hope is lost, look for the good. And if you can't find any, create it.

My Mama always tells me "leave a place better than you found it." None of us know when we're going to leave this place, so why waste a second of our time here spreading one iota of bad energy? I'm choosing to cling to the good. I'm not going to be angry, or lose hope, or stop trusting other people. I'm not going to hide away in fear of what bad may fell me. I'm going to spread joy, and laughter, and love, and light, every chance I can. I'm not going to run from life, I'm going to run for it.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

A week in the life: Filling a prescription

Just a run-down on my life and what it takes to get a damn prescription filled...

Thursday
10:30am Arrive at doctor's office
11:00am Talk with doctor
11:20am Pregnancy test with nurse I'm not pregnant! Phew, what a relief...
11:45am Blood test with phlebotomist (We sang Wicked)
12:00pm Prescription given
12:30pm IV meds started (I watched viral videos on YouTube)
1:30pm IV meds finished
2:00pm Leave doctor's office
2:15pm Drop Rx at pharmacy
2:25pm Head to pick up older kids from school
On way Eat banana and cashews
2:40pm Make phone calls for film job (while waiting for the Dawdle Twins)
2:50pm Retrieve 8 and 10 year olds, drive to preschool
3:20pm Retrieve 5 year old, head to dance lesson
3:45pm to 4:45pm Girls' dance lesson
5:00pm Home, start dinner
6:00pm Eat chicken and vegetables
7:00pm Head to LA
11:45pm Pull over on I-5 to empty guts Yum!
12:00am Check into motel, continue emptying guts More yum...

Friday
4:00am Wake up, empty guts, go back to sleep
8:00am Receive call from pharmacy, prescription can't be filled My life is hard!
8:05am Decide to be alive today
8:30am Call doctor's office, leave message
8:35am Call insurance, leave message
9:00am Shower
9:05am Doctor's office calls, leaves message
9:10am Insurance calls, doesn't leave message
9:15am Get dressed; call doctor, leave message
9:20am Call insurance
10:00am Still on hold with insurance; eat apple and almonds
10:01am Doctor's office beeps in, hang up with insurance, doctor's office says to call insurance
10:03am Call insurance
10:40am On hold with insurance again; pharmacy calls, ignore; insurance says to call pharmacy Here we go...
10:45am Vow to kill everyone; pack up and hit road
11:00am Call pharmacy, leave message
1:00pm Blow tire on I-5; use time waiting on roadside to call doctor, insurance, and pharmacy, leave messages Seriously?!
2:00pm Continue on to LA
4:00pm Arrive in LA
4:01pm to 6:01pm Nap in car in Griffith Park (Meet a coyote)
6:30pm Change clothes in McDonald's bathroom We fancy, huh?
7:00pm Eat black beans from the can
7:30pm Head to Viper Room
8:00pm Meet up with people at Viper Room; listen to live music
12:30am Leave Viper Room
1:00am Arrive at Royer's house
2:00am Zzzzzzz

Saturday
10:00am Awake
11:45am Yet to get up, answer PR emails
12:15pm Finally get up
12:30pm Run errands with Royer; eat eggs, grains, spinach
3:00pm Back to Royer's; make phone calls
4:45pm Shower
6:45pm Head to Blank Theatre for Young Playwrights Festival
10:00pm Head to Al's, get gas on way
11:00pm Get to Al's; Zzzzz

Sunday
7:45am Peel self from bed I want to die
8:30am Eat eggs
9:30am to 1:30pm Pride Parade
2:30pm Thai with Al
4:00pm Get to Al's; upload photos; answer personal emails
4:30pm to 5:30 Nap
5:55pm Head to Sidewalk Studio for Tennessee In The Summer
10:00pm Drive to SF
3:30am Arrive home; Zzzzzzz

Monday
8:45am Wake
9:00am Call doctor's office, leave message I hate everyone!
10:00am Pharmacy calls, violates protocol and tells me root problem
10:30am Call doctor's office, leave message outlining problem (THEIR mistake!)
11:00am Eat oatmeal and banana
11:10am Throw up oatmeal and banana
11:30am Do PR work; still in bed
2:45pm Get out of bed; head to pick up 5 yo from preschool
3:30pm Talk to nurse at doctor's office; feel like idiot; get mad
4:00 to 5:00pm Nap with 5 yo
5:30pm Eat eggs and cantaloupe
6:00 to 7:00pm 5 yo swim lesson
7:00pm to 8:00pm Bathe and bed kid
9:00pm Zzzzzz
11:00pm Wide awake; stalk social networks
1:00am Zzzzzz

Tuesday
9:00am Up; eat eggs
10:00 to 11:30am Physical Torture Bike riding!
12pm to 2:30pm Do PR & writing work
3:00pm Eat Salad
3:30 to 5:30pm Park with 5 yo; call doctor's office, leave message
6:00pm Call doctor's house, talk to doctor, says problem will be fixed in morning It'd better!
6:30pm Dump kid with her dad; eat quinoa and chicken
7:00pm Bed; watch hours and hours of Glee til I pass out

Wednesday
10:00am Roll out of bed; eat oatmeal; call doctor, leave message
11:00am No word from doctor Uuuuuuuggggghhhh
12:00pm Drive to doctor, corner nurse, gain access to file, change my birthdate from December 1995 to correct date March 1985 (wtf?!); dial pharmacy and hand phone to nurse Great record-keeping, Guys!
1:00pm Problem corrected, prescription in process of being filled If you want it done right...
1:30pm Buy groceries at Trader Joe's
2:45pm Oil change
3:30pm Pick up 5 yo
4:00pm PICK UP PRESCRIPTION! It only took 9 years!
Everything after this point is irrelevant...

Thursday
A bunch of stuff including picking out a gown and kicking it with 5 yo and BFF

7:00pm Take first pill!!!

Needless to say, I was supposed to start this new med last Monday, but didn't start until Thursday. I'm now nearly a week in. Luckily, my stomach problems seemed to exit scene when the curtain closed on the Voriconozale. No more vom fest! I feel shaky and creaky all over, and I have a splitting headache, but all least I can eat again!

I'm heading out of town as soon as I post this, to, get this: The Daytime Emmys. It's been a whirlwind of a year leading up to this, kicked off last summer when I had a section of my jaw removed. That surgery precipitated numerous events that eventually led to now, and I am so honored and excited for this opportunity!

"In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths" -Drew Barrymore

Roses

Ok, I've had my meltdown, I've wallowed in self-pity for a few days, I've laughed over this; and now I'm ready to dust myself off and keep going. Focusing on my burdens can swallow me whole, if I allow it to. I'd much rather live by counting my blessings. When I do so, I am a much happier, more useful person.



Thank you to everyone who commented, emailed, messaged, texted, tweeted, called, smoke signaled, etc. me this weekend. Each one of you is a rosebud and I'm thankful to be surrounded by a garden of love. "I get by with a little help from my friends..."

Good things that came of this:

-Welp, now I know: I tried, I took a chance, and now I don't have to be left wondering "what if" I had done that trial; "what if" that could have been "it;" man, I wish I'd taken that risk; etc. I would rather try and fail than never try, because of the chance of failure. If we went through life with that mentality, there would never be any successes. You win some, you lose some. You keep going.

-$$$: I hate to say I was bought, but I'm not going to lie, I chose that trial because it paid well, and I desperately needed the money. Everyone has a price, and while I'm still debating whether or not my kidney function was worth the amount I received, I am glad to have some relief from the crushing weight of my medical debt. It is expensive to be alive! It was worth unloading some of that burden.

-I'm doing okay: While I am just now finding out the root causes of some of what I've been through lately, I've already been through most of it. I'm coming out on the other side, now. I'm not currently in kidney failure because things are under control at the moment, and I'm managing my medicine, diet, and blood. My foot is almost to where it was strength-wise before my surgery. With the added bonus of not being crunched up and floppy, at the same time. Seriously, that was beyond gross

-I know who to count on: The last couple of years have been a great spotlight on the people in my life, and each time my ship goes down it shows me who will be there to throw me a life jacket, and who will jump ship. I know who my real friends are. Thank you

-I'm alive!: I am still here. And if that's not a big ole yellow Texas rose...well, then this analogy sucks.


"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world." -Desiderata

Train Robbery

A week ago, someone broke into my home (of course they did) and stole a lot of my things, including my computer -with my external hard drive still attached; containing all my artwork, recent pictures, music, and most of my writing. Ugh.

They also took my wallet with all my credit cards, social security card, and check book, which has made the past week all kinds of fun with the phone calls, appointments, paperwork, etc. I've had to deal with. I can't express how much I hate the music they play while you're on hold...

The artwork and writing is what really hurts. It is moreso my identity than my bank account. I feel violated and sad because they took a part of me, which I know they just discarded without a thought. That is the REAL identity theft.

Seriously, they didn't even get anything of value to them, but they sure made my life harder. I would have gladly handed over $ to avoid the hassle they're putting me through with my finances. I'm sure this stress is great for my health.

I'm considering writing a book entitled 30 Things That Can Happen To You Before You Turn 30: My Life Exemplifying Murphy's Law. I think it could be a best seller.

I'm trying to look at the bright side of things:
-A new laptop is on its way
-I now have a nicer camera than I ever had before
-I know now to back everything up on an online database
-There are amazing people in my life
-This is great fodder for that best selling book I'll write
-Things are just things
-I am further convinced I can survive anything life throws my way

I've been robbed of pretty much every thing(material and not) that a person can be robbed of, in my life, and you know what? The past few years, I've learned that despite what life robs me of, I will not be derailed. This train just keeps chugging along...


“Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair. However you must keep smiling & moving on.” -Tom Jackson