Strawverry Jelly Donut Cupcake Recipe

I totally can't eat these, but since I posted them in my last post, people want the recipe. Look how nice I'm being!

Strawberry Filling

1/2 c sugar
1 tbs cornstarch
3 tbs cool water
1 qt strawberries, sliced

Combine sugar and cornstarch in a saucepan.

Stir in water.

Add strawberries and bring to boil over medium-high heat, stirring constantly.

Once boiling, reduce heat to medium and simmer until clear and thickened, about 4 minutes.

Remove from heat and puree in a blender until smooth.

Cover and refrigerate until chilled. (Can be stored up to a week)

Frosting

Make your favorite buttercream frosting and add some of the strawberry filling to it.

Cupcakes

1 1/4c salted butter
1 1/4c sugar
2 ts vanilla extract
2 large eggs, room temparature
2 large egg whites, room temp
1 c milk
1/4 c sour cream
3 cups flour
2 ts xantham gum
2 1/2 ts baking powder
1 ts baking soda
1/2 ts salt
* Use Gluten Free vanilla, flour, baking powder, and baking soda, if needed

Preheat oven to 350.

With electric mixer, cream butter and sugar together until fluffy, then add vanilla.

Add eggs one at a time, while mixing.

Add milk and sour cream, mixing until well blended.

In another bowl, combine flour, xantham gum, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix at a low speed for 10 seconds.

Scrape bowl sides and blend at high speed for 5 seconds.

Divide batter into lined cupcake trays and bake for 25 minutes.

Allow cupcakes to cook in the tins for 10 minutes, then remove and allow to cool completely.

Once cupcakes are cool, cut an inverted cone into the tops that is about 1 1/2 in diameter and 1 in deep. Safe the top to serve as a lid.

Fill each cupcake with about 2 ts of filling and place the cones back onto each cupcake.

Use a small palette knife to spread frosting onto each cupcake.

Texas teases

My family clearly hates me.

Pie love you

So, today is National Pi Day?! Didn't we just have National Pie Day like yesterday? What is with the string of National "Bren Can't Eat That" Days lately and why did I never know about any of these when I could actually celebrate them?

The only one I ever knew about was National Donut Day. And I sure did celebrate that one!


These are the pecan (that PEA-CAN, btw, NOT puh-con, as you may have been told) pies my Mama made over Christmas break. Aren't they beautiful? *sigh*


You know that feeling, after a loss, when you think back on "the last (whatever)" and think about how you didn't know it was your last time? You think about how you would have done it differently, or how you would have savored it more, if only you had known. But you didn't. You took it for granted, and now it's gone. You get all nostalgic and sentimental...

Yeah, I get that way about pie.

The last time I ate pie was the end of May 2010. It was chocolate. Good, but not near my favorite. I only had one piece. I should have had ten. Shoulda, woulda, DIDN'T.

When I think back, I rewrite it in my mind. I would be at the smorgousboard of pie: House of Pie. I would order a slice of every one of their pies. I would eat slowly and lovingly. I would praise the gods of pie. I would see God.

This is also what I will do if ever given the greenlight to eat pie, again. I WILL pass go, and I will collect every pie in sight!

You have such a good humor about all this...

"Look, in my life you either laugh or cry, there is nothing in between." Elizabeth Glaser

And so, I've been laughing...

I spent the first week or so after my sentencing(diagnosis) in complete shock and denial, and the next three weeks wavering between anger and feeling extremely sorry for myself. By the month mark, I thought I'd accepted things and was fine... You see up until very recently, my range of emotional vocabulary was thus: fine, not fine, and angry (I'm slowly learning to recognize and label other emotions I previously couldn't).

I've always been told/thought I had a pretty high threshold for pain, and physically I think I'm withstanding a lot right now, considering; but nothing prepared me for this overwhelming tidal wave of sadness that nearly drowned me yesterday. I knew at some point a not fine feeling would resurface, but I wasn't expecting the magnitude and sheer force I was blindsided with.

The thing is, in the past, I never managed my pain, I just disassociated myself from it. So while I may have experienced a lot of painful situations, physically, emotionally, spiritually, I never learned how to process and deal with any of that pain. I just sidestepped it.

I feel so raw and vulnerable, like an emo-chick entering menopause. A drink sounds like a really good idea right now. Two dozen donuts sound like an even better idea. Three boxes of It's-its sounds phenomenal! Something, anything, to get me away from this feeling, to get me away from me. But a drink isn't the solution. Stuffing my face full of donuts, or It's-its isn't the solution. Not feeling my emotions is not the solution. Learning to sit through and deal with pain in a healthy way is what I need to do. And I sure am doing a whole lot of sitting lately! (I sat for 3 hours and did a puzzle, start to finish, the other day. Holy cow.)



Someone recently told me that pain is beautiful... I told her she was full of shit. I do think pain is necessary for growth, though. This is a learning experience, right?

This illness is going to prove to be a good thing(it'd better!), in that it's stripping away all my defenses and pride and escape-routes.

Now, if I could just make it a day without bleeding from one of my orifices...

Identity Crisis

I was the girl:

that ordered desert first...and often skipped the entree and ordered another desert.

that baked pies and cakes for every occasion.



that ate 2 dozen donuts in one day.



that drank drinks so sweet, it made other people's teeth crack.



who never cooked anything other than deserts unless it was a holiday or I was trying to impress a girl.

who dipped already sweet fruit in sugar.

that lived for good BBQ.



that lived on frozen tv dinners, Mochi, dried fruit, It's-Its, pie and BBQ.

that never read the nutrition labels or ingredients and didn't give a hoot about it

who once recieved 10 pies for her birthday.



that threw sprinkle & icing parties. (If you never attended one, you've truly missed out on something epic)



that ate so much at The Texas State Fair that she had to make herself throw up just to go eat more.

who drank 1-2 gallons of milk a week.

who was more a 5-hour-rule girl than a 5-second-rule one.

that traveled everywhere with beef jerky, dried mango and Smirnoff in her backpack.



that never went to a store, got gas or saw a movie without buying at least one candy bar, usually three, sometimes five.

who thought street/fair/carnival foods were gifts of the gods and seized every opportunity to shove my face full of them.

that never in a million years thought I'd give any of that up.