FAQ

For those who want to know and for those that have asked and received the JA or SA responses...

Key:
JA =Jackhole Answer
SA =Succinct Answer
IA =In-depth Answer

Q1: What's with the cane?
JA: What's with your face?
SA: I have a hurt foot.
IA: I have nerve damage in my foot and it helps me walk properly so I don't either: a) limp profusely b) walk on my foot incorrectly (usually on the outside or tiptoe) or c) fall on my face. That sometimes happens anyway...

Q2: Why do you wear a brace?
JA: I stepped on a land mine in Viet-Namn.
SA: I have nerve damage in my foot.
IA: I was in a car wreck 4 years ago and took the impact with my right foot, which traveled up my back, injuring the nerves in my L4, L5, S1 and S2. I've had problems with my back and foot ever since and am prone to hurting them. They've progressively gotten worse and I've known for a while I would probably need surgery, but I didn't have insurance for the past 3.5 years. Then, the Aspergillosis caused an auto-immune response in my body and thus attacked the weak spots, causing weakness and pain in my foot. (The high amounts of glucose and side effects from some of the medications I'm on also contributed) This makes it hard for me to lift and flex my foot and also causes my foot to drop down or curl under. The brace keeps it flat, stabilizes it, and provides a platform under it, so when I lift my leg my foot comes with it, rather than flopping downward.

Q3: So, what's the name of your disease? What is it, exactly?
JA: Aspergillosis. Black mold.
SA: Aspergillosis. It's a black mold that is in my entire body.
IA: Aspergillosis (click the link for the full answer)

Q4: How did you get it?
JA: I won the lottery.
SA: Through a series of unfortunate events jump-started by frostbite.
IA: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

Q5: How rare is it?
JA: One in a trillion.
SA: Very.
IA: There are less than 5,000 known cases in the world.

Q6: What can't you eat?
JA: Everything except watercress and water.
SA: It'd be easier to tell you what I CAN.
IA: Can I eat that?

Q7: When will you be allowed to eat normally, again?
JA: Probably never.
SA: I'm just taking it one day at a time.
IA: There's really no way of knowing, at this point, but I'll hopefully be able to add some foods back in eventually; but I'll likely always have to be conscious of what I'm eating.

Q8: You're probably used to it, by now, right?
JA: Not really.
SA: I'm getting a little better about it.
IA: I'm discovering new things I can eat and new ways of preparing food but I'm still adjusting and sometimes it's really hard.

Q9: Are you contagious?
JA: Yes, stay back.
SA: No.
IA: Not unless you have no immune system and I give you an organ.

Q10: Why can't you eat (insert any forbidden food)?
JA: I'm on a cleanse/Atkins/South Beach diet.
SA: It feeds the mold or makes me sick.
IA: Because it (probably): harbors mold, is high in glucose/sucrose/fructose/ lactose/carbs/stearic acid or is difficult to digest.
Q10b: What do you mean, you don't know? Don't you ask?
JA: I'm not a doctor, I don't know all the specifics.
SA: I just don't eat it if they tell me not to.
IA: It's a lot of information to take in and a lot of it is overwhelming or scary, so I elect not to ask and choose to be on a need to know basis. (I'm starting to ask more questions now, namely because I'm tired of other people being frustrated with me when I don't have answers to offer. You're welcome.)

Feel free to ask any further questions in the comments and I will submit them to the management for answers.

On second thought

After posting, the other day about not missing things I thought I would and missing things I knew I would, I soon realized there were a couple things I forgot to note...the things I didn't realize I'd miss and do. It actually didn't even occur to me until I was feeding these items to the kids.

Yogurt. It's not even that I like it that much, or crave it, but I'm supposed to eat Greek yogurt for the Probiotics and I find it disgusting. I'd rather have no yogurt at all, than force myself to choke down that thick, sour yogurt-imposter. Thus, it makes me appreciate and miss palatable yogurt, like Yoplait's Key Lime Pie. Oh great, now I've got myself thinking about pie...

Mashed potatoes. I used to eat potatoes by the pound. That can be attributed to my Polish/Irish heritage, I suppose. I didn't even care if they were boxed flakes, frozen, whatev; I needed them all day, every day. Funny that I hadn't missed them until now. I tried giving some to the kiddos the other day and they refused to eat them. I was heartbroken, lamenting to them: "You don't know what you're missing! You should gorge on them while you still have the chance!" That just made them laugh. Brats.

To add insult to injury, I feel as if my entire digestive tract is about to erupt from my exit hatch in a razored display of everything I've ever known, been, loved or revered.