Happy Birthday Addy G!

To my niece, Addy G! 

A year ago you rocked by world. No literally, the morning you were born, an earthquake originated under my neighborhood to announce your arrival. Not everyone can claim they arrived with a Birthquake, but you have that distinct honor. And you have lived up to that honor, our "Little Bull (In The China Shop)," as your Mommy likes to call you, or "Scrumple," as Geepaw calls you (because you leave a debris field in your wake). You are a force to be reckoned with.

You may have gotten your rhythm from your Daddy's side, but you got your coordination from your Mommy's. I'm eager to see how that paradox plays out for you. I see Break Dancing in your future- as in, I see you dancing and breaking things. Or limbs. Probably both.

You are ridiculous, and always on the go, and hilarious (I don't know where you got that...). You are stubborn, and opinionated, and too smart for your own good (I don't know where you got that, either). You hate going to sleep because you think you are going to miss something ( I may know a thing or two about that...), but, rest up while you can, little one, for many adventures await you!

You and I are going to cause a lot of trouble together, and butt heads, and see whose eyebrow can raise the highest. I'm going to teach you things, and spoil you, and put you in your place. 

I have many wishes for you, far too many to name, but here are a few.

I wish you enough frustration that you learn patience, but not so much of it that you give up.

I wish you enough disappointment that you learn learn hard work, but not so much that it breaks your spirit.

I wish you enough stumbles that you learn how to pick yourself up, but not so many that you crumple.

I wish you such joy that your heart is full, but no so much that you are unappreciative.

I wish you ample opportunities to achieve your dreams, but not so many that you become complacent.

I wish you laughter to balance out your tears, and faith to battle your fears, and peaches for every pit.

I wish you roses to stop and smell, and mountains to climb, and barriers to break through.

I wish you friends who you can count on, and partners you can trust, and faith in something bigger than yourself.

I wish you strength for the journey, comfort when your path diverts from course, and peace with wherever the road may lead.

I wish you compassion, love, and empathy, both for others and for yourself.

I wish you resourcefulness, street savvy, and book smarts- with them you can accomplish anything.

I wish you silver linings, and second chances, and gratitude- they will bring you hope and happiness.

I wish many things for you, Addy G, but most of all, I wish you as much glee and love as you bring to me.

Happy Birthday, Adelynn Grace. May you embrace life with the same eager hunger that you showed your first cake.

“Congratulations! 

Today is your day. 

You're off to Great Places! 

You're off and away!” 

- Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Last Year

One year ago, I sat deer-in-the-headlights before a firing squad and endured a barrage of bullets that would leave my life riddled with holes: "mold" "infection" "fatal" "rare" "intravenous" "immediately" "neutropenic" "prognosis" "options" "anyone we could call?" "transfusions" "leak gut" "death" .....

I sat in that conference room with a team of doctors, in a daze, their hot words hitting my frozen, emaciated body and melting into a puddle beneath my chair- that I later slipped on as they helped me down the hall to the treatment room for more ivs.

It would take another week before I uttered a word to anyone. Another two weeks before I could stop eating the forbidden foods. Another month before I started this blog. Six months before I accepted any of it. A whole year before I really let myself feel emotions about it.

I started this blog because some things I couldn't say, but I could type. Because answering the same question over and over and over and over again was tiresome, overwhelming, scary and time consuming- whereas offering a link seemed better.

It's been hard: really, really hard. I've tried to be comical and upbeat about it; and I've fostered a lot of denial; and I didn't talk about a lot of things, but doing this blog has helped me find my voice.

It's been one hell of a year but I'm so glad to be here and for all I've learned about food and cooking and life! Thanks for being a part of that journey.