I went to TX, and didn't starve!

Growing up in the grand ole state of Texas, my diet consisted primarily of beef, dairy, casseroles, and baked goods. I thought guacamole came from a packet of powder that you mixed with water. Vegetables came from a can or a freezer bag. I had never had hummus, avocado, Thai food, or brown rice. I didn't know what gluten or Vegan meant. I had heard myths of Vegetarians or Lactose-Intolerant people existing, but like Sasquatch, had never actually caught sight of one. My brain wouldn't have been able to comprehend cheese coming from cashews or milk from rice. Most of my meals came from a drive-thru or a mircowave tray.

Five years ago I moved to California, and was exposed to a world of organic, free-range, fresh foods. I explored Farmer's Markets, Whole Foods, and Trader Joe's. I learned how to use a rice cooker and how to steam vegetables. I introduced edamame, tofu, and kale to my vocabulary and my palate. I stopped microwaving things. I fell in love with Thai, Mediterranean, hummus, Agave, and goat cheeses. I traded in Guiness, Bud Light, and Keystone for Fat Tire, Stella, and PBR. I still ate a LOT of dairy and baked goods. I went home to Texas for barbeque every chance I had.

I used to plan my trips home based on what and when I would eat. Breakfast at Cracker Barrel, followed by lunch at La Madeline's, topped off with dinner at Spring Creek Barbeque. I planned my life around The Texas State Fair and made sure I would be home during the winter months when Blue Bell puts out its peppermint ice cream. Life was simple. Life was grand. Life was about to take a backflip.

After I was diagnosed, I didn't go back to Texas for two whole years. Why bother? I wasn't allowed to eat anything! My sister had to go and get pregnant to get me to come back. Smart move, Sis! Oh, and there was that whole recovering from surgery thing, too...

While I was home for nearly three weeks, I was certain I would starve to death or be living on almonds and carrots which is usually what happens when I travel. This time, I learned a Whole Foods has opened near where my parents live, so we took a family excursion over there. Minds and wallets were blown, interesting stocking stuffers for the whole family were acquired, and Bren-friendly food was found. My Mama made it her mission to ensure I wouldn't starve, bringing me something to eat approximately every 27 minutes:

Fried egg, bok choy, tomato, brown rice, black beans with corn


Rice crackers, cucumber, hummus


Black beans and corn, chicken, rice noodles


Fresh raspberries


Stir fry


And of course, there were the pancakes that she perfected the recipe for!

She even packed my lunch when a friend picked me up so I could visit another friend in the hospital. (That's almond butter in the container, btw)


I was even so nice as to decorate cookies for my family, (while elevating my foot, no small feat). I think my tears added something extra special to the taste.





Much to my surprise, Texas and my Mama did me well.

I'm a genius

Yesterday I ventured to Whole Foods, solo, for the first time. I've been twice before, with friends. The first time I was too over-stimulated/whelmed/self-pitying to actually explore the wonders to behold. The second time I bought some rice cheese (NEVER again, I say! NEVER!)

This time, prepared to bake, I set out to find some almond meal...and found this:

*Clouds part, sunbeams and rainbows shine, bluebirds sing, angels get their wings*

Holy crap, there's such a thing as rice flour?! Oat flour?! (And about 20 other flours I'll have to research)

End results:

Pumpkin and Banana breads

It took a lot of subsitutions, some ingenuity and a bunch of luck, but I managed to make a desert without dairy, gluten, or sugar AND it actually tasted good. I'm a genius!

Recipes coming asap!

Wait, you mean to tell me I was allowed to eat that all along?!

-In case you were wondering, Vegas has two Whole Foods and three Trader Joe's...and most of the people who live there have no idea that Trader Joe's is a grocery store.

In case you were wondering further, The Bellagio Cafe has Organic, Free Range Chicken and steamed veggie options.

In case you were wondering even more, they sell raw, unsalted almonds in the airport.

You're welcome.

-I managed to turn a picky-eating, non-healthy eating friend(who asks not to be named as to preserve her reputation) onto hummus. I found this exciting and fabulous up until realizing I am now going to become one of those Health-Preaching Hippies.

*My. Nose. Didn't. Get. Horribly. Burned. (Don't ask me about my thighs or chest if you know what's good for you)

-In other news: My roommate made barley last night and I tried it for the first time. I was cleared on this grain over a week ago, but having no idea how to procure or perpare it, I'd been holding off...A somewhat different experience from when they cleared me on oats and I ate 4 bowls that day(that's oats + water, plain, if you're wondering, and it was one of the best days of my life)

*I also learned that I AM allowed to have cashews, when all this time I thought I wasn't allowed. Vegan cashew cheese here I come!

The best laid plans...

You'd think I'd've learned by now that things rarely go as planned, especially for me, the girl who exemplifies Murphy's Law.

So my flight was delayed over an hour and Whole Foods was closed, thus my Dad drove me all over Vegas at 1AM looking fr a 24hr store that has produce(hookers, strippers, gambling they've got covered!). An hour, countless veggie-less stores, going the wrong way on a road when a "turn lane" was in fact a median, and a cop confrontation later, we found a store with pure oats.

The next morning, after discovering that the "microwave" was, in fact, a safe, I learned oats can be eaten, raw, by the fistfull, straight from the canister.

Later on, at lunchtime, I learned that a plate of veggies from room service will set you back $45.



Man, this experience is teaching me SO much!

More on my Vegas eating adventure later, I've got a plane to catch...

A Southern Baptist Minister & his Sober-Gay-Vegan Daughter walk into Vegas...

In dire need of a respite from my current life, I decided going to Sin City would be the perfect cure for my woes...the land of free alcohol and BUFFETS. *Sigh*

Luckily, I will be accompanied by my Daddy<3 and don't plan to step foot near The Strip. Plans have been laid to go directly from the airport to Whole Foods to the hotel, where I will float leisurely in the pool for the weekend(and I swear to all that is HOLY my nose even thinks about burning & I'm lobbing the damn thing off!)