Monday, October 23, 2017

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Well, I was told this day would come. It's just a little sooner than I anticipated or was prophesied to me, but hey, I've hit my deductible for the year, anyway, and who knows if I'll even be able to afford healthcare next year, so what the hell. I'm having foot surgery! Wooo

About a year or so ago, all the feeling in my Frankentoe came back and at first it wasn't much of anything. It meant the 24/7 buzzing was pretty much gone, but at times would come back like my foot was falling asleep. No big deal. Then it started itching sometimes. Okay, that's fine. Then it started feeling crawly every so often. Still not a big deal at all. Then it started burning. Oh, hey, I remember this feeling. This is still fine. Then it started throbbing. I mean, I haven't felt it for 5 years, what's a little pain to make up for lost time, yeah? Then it started burning and crawling and throbbing all the time. And aching after I walking for more than an hour. And it was keeping me up at night. And giving me back problems. And just generally being a giant asshole.

So I started wearing compression socks every day, and getting Cortisone shots every other week, and I got new shoes and in-soles. And then I rolled my ankle for the billionth time and my podiatrist said that we were just slapping Band-aids on the problems.

Apparently my big toe bones are still not aligned properly and one of my sesamoids (a pair of little pea-sized bones on the bottom of your big toe that absorb all your weight when you walk) is rotated and not even touching the ground when I walk and the other one is taking all the weight when I walk and there is a ton of scar tissue built up where they previously shaved down my bones on the ball of my foot and my ankle also has a ton of scar tissue and my "ligaments are shot." That's a direct quote, btw

And if you have scar tissue and calluses on the ball of your foot, that means bones are rubbing together. And those bones should not be rubbing together. So that means things are mis-aligned. And for all I know, they've been mis-aligned for 5 years, because I couldn't fricking feel them. Or something slipped at some point. Again, hell if I know, I couldn't feel it. Maybe that's what caused me to start feeling things again, for all I know.

So they're going to go in and repair the big toe again. And while we're at, it fix the ligament tear from 2 years ago, and just go ahead and reinforce all the ligaments in that ankle, since they just keep going out, one by one.

And that's the latest chapter in this 10 year foot saga. I'm told this fix should last me "about 10 years," so expect an update about the next venture in about 7 years...

I'm hoping they can just 4-D print me a new foot by then using my own spit.