Thursday, March 28, 2013

Flashback: Dear 'Roids

I found an old draft from when I was on steroids that never got posted, so here's a Throwback Thursday.

Dear Medrol-

I want to thank you for making my hair darker, thicker and fuller. And not just on my head, either. My once blonde arm hair is now brown. My leg hair is black and wirey and don't get me started on my armpits. I also now have a happy trail, chest hair, beard, and a unibrow. I'm thinking of moving to France.

I've lost a lot of the muscle mass in my legs and arms, but my lungs are stronger than they've been in quite some time. Who needs physical strength when you can breathe without feeling like you're sucking through a straw and your lungs are comprised of taffy?

With you I could run and jump. You caused me to leap for joy.Well, you made me feel like I could. Now that you're gone, I don't see much value in jumping, because the landing is always devastating. You made me crazy!

I hated you at first and then I grew to appreciate you. Now you're gone and I'm left here to clean up the mess you left. It's like we're in the middle of a messy divorce, and you got the cars, house, boat, and money, while I'm left with the trailer that always smells of fish guts and the truck that can't go faster than 55 without shaking violently and smoking.

Well I have news for you, I can breathe easy now. I don't lose sleep over you anymore. I'm healing.

And I also met a really great waxer.

I won't come crawling back,

Smooth In San Francisco


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Happy Birthday Addy G!


To my niece, Addy G! 

A year ago you rocked by world. No literally, the morning you were born, an earthquake originated under my neighborhood to announce your arrival. Not everyone can claim they arrived with a Birthquake, but you have that distinct honor. And you have lived up to that honor, our "Little Bull (In The China Shop)," as your Mommy likes to call you, or "Scrumple," as Geepaw calls you (because you leave a debris field in your wake). You are a force to be reckoned with.

You may have gotten your rhythm from your Daddy's side, but you got your coordination from your Mommy's. I'm eager to see how that paradox plays out for you. I see Break Dancing in your future- as in, I see you dancing and breaking things. Or limbs. Probably both.

You are ridiculous, and always on the go, and hilarious (I don't know where you got that...). You are stubborn, and opinionated, and too smart for your own good (I don't know where you got that, either). You hate going to sleep because you think you are going to miss something ( I may know a thing or two about that...), but, rest up while you can, little one, for many adventures await you!

You and I are going to cause a lot of trouble together, and butt heads, and see whose eyebrow can raise the highest. I'm going to teach you things, and spoil you, and put you in your place. 

I have many wishes for you, far too many to name, but here are a few.

I wish you enough frustration that you learn patience, but not so much of it that you give up.

I wish you enough disappointment that you learn learn hard work, but not so much that it breaks your spirit.

I wish you enough stumbles that you learn how to pick yourself up, but not so many that you crumple.

I wish you such joy that your heart is full, but no so much that you are unappreciative.

I wish you ample opportunities to achieve your dreams, but not so many that you become complacent.

I wish you laughter to balance out your tears, and faith to battle your fears, and peaches for every pit.

I wish you roses to stop and smell, and mountains to climb, and barriers to break through.

I wish you friends who you can count on, and partners you can trust, and faith in something bigger than yourself.

I wish you strength for the journey, comfort when your path diverts from course, and peace with wherever the road may lead.

I wish you compassion, love, and empathy, both for others and for yourself.

I wish you resourcefulness, street savvy, and book smarts- with them you can accomplish anything.

I wish you silver linings, and second chances, and gratitude- they will bring you hope and happiness.

I wish many things for you, Addy G, but most of all, I wish you as much glee and love as you bring to me.

Happy Birthday, Adelynn Grace. May you embrace life with the same eager hunger that you showed your first cake.


“Congratulations! 
Today is your day. 
You're off to Great Places! 
You're off and away!” 
- Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Monday, March 4, 2013

What a wild ride

My gosh, so much has happened this year! It's a good thing I'm able to power walk (and working on running) so that I can keep up with myself! My Mama says that if it weren't for my Facebook check-ins she would never know where I am. Half the time I don't even know!

On Wednesday  she gets to come along with me on my latest adventure. Back in November, my Dad and I drove from California to Texas so I could take a breather for a few months. Now, I'm refreshed and recharged and ready to roll, so I'm headed back to California. After living in San Francisco for five years, this time I'm setting my sights on Los Angeles.

I never in a million years thought I would live in LA, but "never say never!"

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has helped me the last six months to get my health and finances in check. Through donations I was able to pay off my medical bills that were keeping me from leaving San Francisco. With the help of parents and friends, I was able to lay low for a few months and get some much needed rest. Then some opportunities came up, many from left field, and I am ready to get back in the game!

I am healthier and happier than I have been in a very long time. The past three years have been a challenge and a blessing. I can't say enough how much it means to me that I have been surrounded by an amazing support system and I know that I could not have done it without the amazing people who bless me with their presence in my life.

Now that I'm back on my feet I only hope that I can repay each of you for what you have given me. If any of you need anything, please ask and I will do everything I can to show you the kindness you have shown me. And I have a stack of postcards to send Y'all, just as soon as I slow down enough to write on them!

Los Angeles, get ready!


“Welcome, O life! I go to encounter for the millionth time the reality of experience and to forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race.” - James Joyce, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man