In the last few weeks, I've said goodbye to two of my most favorite people. One, my best friend, I lost to life. The other, my Gran, I lost to death. Both of which were out of my control. They both loved and supported me in everything I did. Now there is a gaping hole in my life where they once were.
In a week, I will say goodbye to more of my favorite people, as I embark on the next path of my life's journey and leave this town. This was a choice I made based partially on things out of my control and partially on controlling my own future.
No part of any of this has been easy. It's been hard. Really effing hard. Actually, that's not even enough. It's been excruciating. I am raw and laid bare. I'm heartbroken.
And yet, I'm okay. Or I will be.
I'll be okay, because I'm alive. And because I have a blank canvas in front of me just waiting to have paint thrown on it. Because I have people who love me and believe in me. Because:
"Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
-Lessons Learned, Carrie Underwood
I'm moving on. I have a lot more living to do.