I won the lottery!

*HUGE news in this blog!*


I started my New Year off right. Sipping apple juice in my pj's in front of a fire and watching a Portlandia marathon with my parents. We think we fancy, huh?

Ma wanted to make me "champagne" but what we thought was sparkling water turned out to be just spring water, so I enjoyed my watered down apple juice and reminisced over Baptist Sunday School snacks from childhood...

I was fighting a winter cold (which felt like swallowing golf balls), but actually, it was one of the best starts to a new year I've ever had. I was cozy and relaxed while surrounded by laughter and love. Then there's the added bonus of no crowds, or parking, or freezing weather, or traffic, or doing my hair. Winning.

Cutting to the chase, I mentioned in my last two blogs that I had really great news to share. So here we go...

My Candida is normal, my intestinal flora is rebuilding, and most importantly, my Aspergillus is dying or dead, with no new growth for the past six months. This is HUGE news. I'm getting better! My health is the best it's been over the course of this entire journey that started back in February 2010.

I knew this news back in October/November, but I didn't say anything to anyone. It just seemed to be way too good to be true and I didn't want to jinx it until I was sure that it would stick. There have been so many false starts and setbacks in my recovery that I couldn't bear to get my hopes up just to endure another letdown.

I was also very run down and exhausted during that time and I had just lost the two people who would have been my very first calls with the good news. I escaped from reality, sowed some wild oats for a few weeks, then hibernated for a few more. In hindsight, I think I was in shock.

I fought so hard for this, for three long years, and there were times I never thought this day would come. When it finally did come, I didn't know what to do with it, so I did nothing.

Then I used it as the best Christmas surprise EVER. Forget wedding proposals and pregnancy announcements, people do those all the time. Amateurs. I have them all beat! I kept this news from my family for two months and then sprang it on them Christmas afternoon (because we took FOR.EVER. to get to my sis's house to open presents). And they all cried. I win!

All joking aside, I did win. I hit the jackpot. The paperwork in my chart now reads "Our findings indicate that the condition of Aspergillosis is responding well to current treatments and does not currently pose a life-threatening risk to this patient." And that is worth all the money in the world.

I think 2013 is going to be my best year, yet! Cheers to whatever it has in store for me!

"Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked into my best thoughts." -Soren Kierkgaard

*Disclaimer* This does NOT mean that I am healed. It does NOT mean that I can eat whatever I want.  It DOES mean that I am not actively dying. Please field your responses and questions according to this, it will save us both some grief. Thank you!

Ch, ch, ch, chaaanges

Rewind to about two years ago:
"Here have some of this (insert food item here)."
"I'm not allowed to eat that."
"Why?"

And so, this blog began...

We're rounding the corner on two year of blogging. Whooo, party! Given how much has changed during that time, and as a sort of celebration, I'm changing things up a bit around here.

First of all, this blog started out as a way to cope with my diet. It was meant to fend off being asked the same questions repeatedly; to cope with my new way of eating; to experiment with new foods; and to provide some levity to a very serious situation.

Then, it also became a place for updating people on my health. Again, it was a source of answering the barrage of questions in one place; a way to cope; to talk about experimental treatments; and for some escapism from the difficulties I faced.

Along the way if became a place of refuge; of hope; and of connecting with people who know me, or know similar situations, or who simply found a common bond.

I have used this space to rant, ask for help, rejoice, and laugh. I've grown and changed along the way, and now it's time for the blog to morph a little, too.


What's changing:

The name "Food Withdrawl"- While I'm always going to be experimenting with, and seeking out new foods and recipes, I'm not in withdrawal anymore. Also, not ONE person ever got the pun in the name, or even noticed that it was either a play on words or misspelled- which has bugged the crud out of me!

In his autobiography, pacifist and philosopher, Bertrand Russell stated, "This has been my life. I have found it worth living."

I chose to rename this blog after that quote. Despite everything that has happened thus far, and all the horrible things that I have been through: the pain, and surgeries, and organ failure, and struggle; the goodness, hope, love, and beauty I have experienced have far outweighed it. This has been my life. It wasn't what I would have chosen, but it has gotten me to where I am, and it has made me who I am. And I think it's been worth it.

The layout- I got tired of those vegetables. Really, can you blame me? If I never see another vegetable for as long as I live...

What's staying the same:

The recipes (hopefully I will post more of them), the pictures of what I'm eating, the updates on my health (hopefully less of them- no news is good news, yeah?), the quips and sarcasm, the refuge, the connections, the hope ("You gotta give em hope!" -Harvey Milk)...


So here's to another leg of this journey that started with a single step back in June 2010. Since that time, as of right now, this blog has been viewed 8,818 times. While a seemingly small number in the grand scheme of things, and blogs, I'm very thankful that people have cared enough about what I'm writing (other than my Mama, who probably accounts for about 1,000 of those views) to visit this page so many times. I really love when you comment, too- it makes my day, every single time. Thanks for being a part of the journey. It's been more than worth it.

Marching right along: 2 years later...

It's March, already? How did that happen?!

This weekend marks two whole years since that fateful skiing incident that kicked off this whole show. I'm reminiscing about the whole mess of stuff that has happened since then that brought me to where I am today. Sometimes, it feels like no time at all. Two years isn't really that long, in the grand scheme of everything. Other times, it feels like for-ev-er. Wendy Peppercorn, where you at?! Has is really only been two years? Because it feels like fifty. I think I've lived more in these past two years, than in the previous twenty four combined.

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?


Here's my lift ticket from that day.


Ordinarily, first-timers aren't allowed on the lifts. However, after impressing my instructor with my hubris and mad skiing skills; and having mastered, in a few hours, all the goals of the day lesson, they bumped be up to the next lesson level. By lunch, I'd mastered all the goals of the second tier, as well. It was decided that I was a natural and got approval to ride the lift. This is when karma came in and put me in my place.


If you know me, or have read my posts, you already know I'm a stubborn asshole, who loves a challenge. You also know that I throw myself headfirst into pretty much everything I do. You also probably know that throwing yourself headfirst into skiing, might not end well.

You're also probably thinking that's what I did and that this is a classic case of flying too close to the sun.

I wish I could say that. I wish I could say I tackled that mountain with such fury that I went out in a blaze of glory and smashed my face in the process. Instead, I leaned too far getting off the lift and face planted, my skis locked behind me, and I rode down the hill on my face. I was relegated back to the bunny slope after that.

Here's my raw nose before it scabbed over.


It doesn't look that bad right? It's like a sunburn, or a skinned knee, just on my face, right? That's what I thought, at the time. It didn't seem like that big of a deal.

I wish the story was more glamorous or colorful, but this isn't Hollywood, nor am I the one writing the story. I'm just turning the pages.

This weekend, ironically, the family I live with is going skiing. There's a part of me that wants to go, to show skiing who's boss. Instead, I'll be at home, in my warm bed, thankful that my nose isn't raw like this anymore.

I'm keeping my wings from melting, this time.

2 weeks of glory

What I've been up to


If you want to see under the bandages, get at me, I love sharing those pics.

Pride tauntings