Dear Aspergillosis: Happy 2 Year Anniversary!

Here, I got you this cake I can't eat- that's love.

Dear Aspergillosis,

Happy Anniversary! Yesterday marked two years since I became yours. You'd already conquered my heart by then, after only being in my life for a few months. I've heard it said that sometimes your lifelong relationships are the ones that catch you by surprise, when you least expect it. And surprise me, you did! I never fathomed you, never dreamed you would come in and change my life forever, never knew what life could be like with you at the forefront.

You, with your challenges and stubbornness rivaling my own. You, with your humbling ways and air of mystery. You, with your beauty and grace. I wasn't expecting you.

Has it really only been two years? It feels like a hundred, sometimes! We've been through so much, you and I. I would've written you yesterday, but as you like to do, you had me in bed early, as you had other plans for me. You are always full of surprises!

The person I was before we crossed paths would have hated you. In fact, when I first learned your name, I did. Then you grew on me. I didn't have much choice, actually. You knocked me off my feet.

You aren't easy to live with, Aspergillosis, but you've been worth it.

It has been quite the storm we've weathered, so far, and I want to thank you for the things you have brought to my life. You showed me where there were leaks in my boat and now that I've patched them, nothing life throws my way can sink me. You taught me to surround myself with people who are umbrellas shielding me from the rain, and to avoid people who are buckets looking to dump themselves onto me. You remind me that life is cyclical, and that tides come and go, as do hardships and joys, and to always keep an eye on the horizon because you never know what might sail your way.

You have given me my money's worth of this life. You have expensive taste and sometimes I think you will take me for all I am worth, but then you pay me back in experience and wisdom, in courage and strength, and in love and light. You have made me rich in gratitude, joy, and awe, things money can't buy. When the grass looks greener in other's pastures, you take my straw and spin it into gold. You encourage me to seek out diamonds in the rough and your storms polish my shattered pieces until they shine. You have been worth every penny and the life I now have is priceless.

I love you and the life we have created together. I really don't think I could have done it without you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and you have made me a better a person. Thank you for coming in and changing my life.

Love,
Bren

"I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude." -Benjamin Disraeli

*May 23, 2010 is the day I was diagnosed with Aspergillosis

Texas Easter

My niece eyeing the ham. I know how you feel kid


Forbidden "fruit"

Cole slaw, cheesy rice casserole, ham, deviled eggs, fruit salad, carrot cake

Bren-friendly feast

Buffalo, green beans, sweet potato, red potatoes, un-deviled egg, applesauce

My Easter Peeps

Texas teases

My family clearly hates me.

So where does that leave me?

Now it's National Chocolate Cake Day?! Who comes up with this stuff? When's it going to be my turn? When's "Gluten/dairy/sugar-free Faux-chocolate This doesn't even resemble Cake Day?"

Just Because I Can't, You SHOULD

People often ask me if it makes me uncomfortable if they eat in front of me, or they'll apologize before eating something. Stop it, will ya?!

Eating is one of life's great pleasures. Just because my experience is a little less pleasurable now, does in no way mean that I want your taste buds to suffer, as mine do.

By all means eat the juicy piece of cake dripping with icing. In fact, eat three, please. I'll watch. This is better than a racy onscreen lovescene.

It took me a while, but I'm no longer bitter about what I can't eat and I don't need you to feel sorry for me about it either.

To prove it, I'll help your children make homemade ice cream, insist they pour an entire bottle of sprinkles on it and watch as they dissolve into a sticky, giggling puddle of pure joy. Who would want to deny them that? I gladly encourage it.



I'll even make you homemade tittycakes for your Bachelorette party (two of my close friends are getting married tomorrow. I introduced them. I couldn't NOT bake them a celebratory cake?!)



So the next time you feel a pang of sympathy for my lack of desert options, have one in my honor. It's the right thing to do.

I can't eat that: East Coast Edition

No ice cream cake. No Ninja Turtle pop with bubble gum eyes. No Philly cheesesteak and cheesefries. No Polish meatballs or lasagna. No pretzels, hot dogs, sno-cones, pizza, or funnel cakes from street vendors. No birthday cake...

Buuuut, I did make my own version of a hoagie from the veggie tray


and a chicken breast



Improvision at it's finest, Folks!

I also made Buddha Bowls with my friend Katie (This is her blog: Wellness Uncorked)


This is her recipe:
"One Pot Buddha Bowls
Ingredients:
1 cup quinoa, cous cous or brown rice
Veggies of your choice, chopped into bite size pieces (I like to use onions, broccoli, yellow or red peppers, tomatoes, and alfalfa or mung bean sprouts)
1/2 avocado, sliced into cubes
Salt and pepper to taste (or you can get fancy, and add a touch of salad dressing for a more interesting taste)

Directions:
1. Boil 2 cups of water. Add grain and reduce to warm. For quinoa, cook for 15 minutes. Cous cous only needs 5. Brown rice needs about 50 minutes.
2. When time is up (but not before), remove lid and fluff grain with fork.
2b. If you cooked a double serving of grains, remove half and let cool before packing up in Tupperware for a future meal.
3. Add chopped veggies to pot, stir, and re-cover. Let steam for 5 minutes.
4. Serve with avocado and salt and pepper or a balsamic dressing (for my favorite balsamic dressing, check out the recipe section of my website!)"

When I first met Katie a few years ago, she was a vegetarian and ate a lot of raw food. (I thought she was nuts) Now I'm reading her blog and going to her for information on healthy eating. Funny how things come full circle...

I ate pretty well on this trip considering last summer's food debacle when I went to Vegas with my Dad and ended up eating raw, dry oatmeal and ordering 500 dollar room service salads.

Pâtissierie pheromones

This weekend two of my dearest friends got married and I brought all their things home with me so they could whisk away to their Hawaiian Honeymoon. Included in these wedding items was the remnants of their cake. Three. Boxes. FULL.



Thus, I was left alone in an empty condo with 20lbs of contraband. The only thing keeping me from having my own honeymoon and making sweet love to that beautiful body of sweetness was the memory of throwing up at the wedding after having a little bit. Yes, I snuck some bites, I'm not gonna lie and say I learned my lesson a few weeks ago. At least this time I was able to limit myself (probably because my friends were there telling me I was making a horrific mistake) and promptly slipped away from the festivities ("I need to pee") to take a nice brisk walk through the moonlit vineyard (aka: high-tailed my ass out of earshot and tossed my cookies on some grapevines)

I took one box to work Monday and fed a chunk of it to the kids ten minutes before I left. It was win-win, really; I got rid of the goods and got the satisfaction of knowing their sugar frenzy kicked in as soon as my car rounded the corner. I pawned another box off on my women's group last night and the last box went to the other kid today. I'm glad it's all out of my hands because I don't trust myself to be alone with it for another day. The chemistry between us is just too much to bear and I can only be good for so long.

My Life is HARD

Tonight at my Women's Group someone brought homemade spice cake. Last week someone brought homemade peach cobbler (that's 2nd in ranking to pie!). Both times they were warm, aromatic and calling my name...before I got sick the only thing anyone ever brought were cuties and stale, gross cookies from the dollar store. It's a good thing I took a nap today and my stomach was full of some choice lettuce, 'else I would've cut someone.