Friday, February 17, 2012

I think I'll move to Australia

Today, I went by Alexander (or Frustrated McGrumperson). I woke up with blood in my hair (from a massive nosebleed); I dropped my nose ring down the sink; my computer crashed causing me to lose a huge file and some important documents, all before I even got dressed. Then I had a severely disappointing physical therapy session; my phone ate itself and had to be reset, losing all my data; and then I ran into someone I knew... That went a little something like this:

Them: "Hey, Bren"
Me: "Oh hey, how are you?"
Them: "You STILL have a crutch?!"
Me: "They actually said I'd probably still have two right now, so I'm doing pretty well." (I really wish I could kick you right now)
Them: "Oh, but you look fine, can't you walk without it."
Me: "I can shuffle if the ground is flat, which it isn't much around here." (Let's see how you walk with it shoved up your ass)
Them: "Well, ok. Don't worry, you'll be as good as new in no time!"
Me: "Thanks, see ya." (I can't get away from you fast enough)

This is not the first time this has happened, and it will, no doubt, not be the last. I've rolled with it up until now, but today I reached my breaking point. Thus, I extend a plea to you.

Please, think before you comment on my (or anyone's) progress. Anything that may come off as discouraging you may keep to yourself. Sometimes, saying nothing is far better than saying something that weighs on the fact that I am not as well as I want to be. I'm well aware, I don't need you to remind me.

Also, telling me that my recovery will take place in no time really downplays what I'm experiencing. This is something I live with every second of every day, that is always on my mind, that I experience with every scarred breath and painful step. It is not no time, it is a lot of time, and I'm counting every second.

Last, when you see me, rather than exclaiming "you still have a crutch?!" I'd much rather you to say "wow, you only have one crutch, now?!" Because that's what I need to hear. I'm really working my ass off and I'm already hard enough on myself. Thanks.

"Everyone has bad days, even in Australia."

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