2015

Some numbers...

30: That's how old I'm turning this year.
4.5: That's how many years since my diagnosis.
21,000: That's how many times this blog has been read (if you include the hits to the original page)
Zero: That's how many times I visited the hospital last year.
Zero: That's how much Aspergillosis is in my blood, marrow, or spinal fluid.
A trillion: That's what I'm one in.
Twenty Fifteen: Never thought I'd see it.

Never imagined I'd be rounding the corner on Thirty. Never, in a million years. And here I am. Against all odds.

And I'm healthy. Last year I had a few colds, stomach bugs, headaches, and ear infections, but nothing to write home about. I don't think I've been that healthy since I was probably 15.

And I'm happy. In the last year, I've been emotionally, mentally, spiritually more happy than I've ever been. And I'm doing things that make me happy and trying to surround myself with people that make me happy. And trying really hard to be a source of happiness for others.

And I'm healing. I can jump and jog and breathe. I don't physically hurt as much, anymore. And I'm letting go of anything that tied me down, whether it's people, or situations, or the past.

I'm free. For the first time ever, I'm actually free.

2015, I've got your number. It's going to be a great year!

Wheel in, Walk Out. So long, 2012!

 *this is like one of those "look back at the year" montages, click the links for glimpses back at posts from this year.

This was an eventful year and I definitely got my money's worth out of it. After 2011, I didn't think it was possible to cram so much living into another year, but then I went and proved myself wrong.

I started this year in a wheelchair, and I wheeled and crutched and caned my way through, one step and one day at a time. There were road blocks along the way, but there were also some bridges and some really great scenery. I am thankful that I am walking out of 2012 better off than when I wheeled into it.

There were triumphs, whether they were small ones like being able to wear two shoes, or huge ones like learning to ride a bike or finally being able to walk unassisted after two long years of pain and tears and hard work. There were frustrations like filling prescriptions and there was anger, like when I found out a clinical trial damaged my kidneys. There were loved ones who died or walked out of my life and there were new babies and new endings. With every goodbye came a new hello, and I grew and learned from each one.

There was a whole lot of cooking, some of it good, some of it bad, and some of it that I can't eat. There were changes and silver linings, there was hope. There were milestones and adventures, infections and accomplishments, there were life lessons.

Some days I soared and others I needed to bust a bunch of eggs on a pier in the middle of the night. I raised money to benefit lung cancer research by learning yoga and I asked for help when I needed it. There was joy and sorrow and laughter and tears. There was life and love and loss joined with renewal,  risks, and gains.

Through it all, I was surrounded by people who cheered me on, picked me up, and lent me their light when mine went dim. I have been blessed in my life, but never as much as I have been by the people in it. If you are reading this, I am thankful for you. My loved ones are my greatest gift.

These are my highlights from the year. (click to enlarge)

2012, you were difficult and wonderful and enlightening and exhausting. Do me a favor, will ya? Tell 2013 to be gentle, please.

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." - Benjamin Franklin

Oh and also, I have some really great news, but I'm not going to share it until next year...