Sunday, November 7, 2010

I ain't missing you at all


I. Miss. PIE.

And BBQ. I'd stalk & butcher a cow tomorrow, single handedly, if my doctor told me I could.

And donuts. 3 dozen. That's how many I'd sit down and eat. I doubt I'd come up for air, even. With sprinkles. So. Many. Sprinkles.

I also really miss Smirnoff Ice, particularly the Mandarin Orange and Green Apple varieties. (I recently got wind there is now a pineapple flavor! FML)

I miss being able to drive through any place I wanted, order whatever hit my fancy and spend less than 5 bucks.

And pre-packaged foods and microwave dinners. Oh to be able to shop once a month and be able to prepare a meal in 3-5 minutes with nothing to clean afterwards. Those were the days!

And ice cream. I would KILL for an Its-It. No seriously, I've yet to see someone eating one, but when that day comes, my cane WILL be re-purposed to bludgeon.

But none of that comes as a surprise. From the start I knew it would be tragic letting those things go. What I was not prepared for, however, were the things I thought I'd miss, and don't.

Got milk? Well I don't and I'm surprised by my utter lack of heart-pangs for my loss. I was a gallon to 2 gallon a week-er and yet, rice milk is doing me just fine. Sure, throwing back a box of rice isn't the same as chugging from the gallon, but other than that, I've made a painless transition and never looked back.

Cheese. Aside from ketchup and bbq sauce, I once covered everything in cheese. I don't really like many spices, can't stand salt and pepper, and don't trust any white sauces(alfredo, white gravy, horseradish, tarter, mayonnaise, hollandaise, sour cream etc.), so cheese was always my go-to. But, I guess when you aren't eating burgers, pizza, noodles or bread, what's the point anyway?

Bread. Really carbs in general. Meh. I have some oats here and there and some rice crackers or millet and it's all good. (Hmm, it just occurred to me that I may retract this on Thanksgiving when I'm missing stuffing, but aside from that...)

Speaking of Thanksgiving, this year I'm going to have to come up with some worthy alternatives so I don't go crazy watching everyone eat and then murder them while they're enjoying their Tryptophan-induced fat-puppy comas.

I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what my friends say

*Also, I baked my first butternut squash this evening. I took pictures of it and promptly hid my camera from myself unwittingly. I swear, sometimes I believe all the weight I'm losing is coming from my brain...cuz it's sure not coming from my rear-quarters.

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